I FOUND ME.

September 13, 2011

2:45 AM

For the fifth time, I went to the Crossword Bookstore at Pacific Mall, looking for yet another “Self-Help"book. These self-help books are the meant to help you and claim to make life better. Or are they? Rhonda Byrne and Norman Vincent Peale had been read. Now what?

As days go by, I am losing all my positivity. I am completely shattered, broken, devastated.

My two year old relationship has ended; I have fought with my best friends, and am not doing too well in the college either. Life has turned upset down and frankly I don’t have the guts to confront the world. I am dejected by whatever has happened.

LIFE STANDS STILL. I FELT COMPLETELY USELESS!

I have a distant hope that lingers, in me, that the day shall come, when I'll be chirpy, full of life, yet again. Poor me! I expect not to get hurt when hugging the cactus.

September 14, 2011

2:30 AM

After spending two hours and forty-five minutes in the mall, the previous evening, I picked up three new books today. One called "PEACEFUL MIND", the other is "KEEP CALM, and WIN" and the third one which really appeals me is "FEEL GOOD-Because hope never dies".

I am very sure this time, my choices won't disappoint me. And when I sat down to read, as usual I switched off the tube-lights (You know that I hate tube-lights! I like the dim bulbs, naa!), switched on the lamp, and sat to read. I realized, I must have a pen and a note-pad and note down all points worth remembering and trying. I opened my study table drawer to find a bold black pen. I moved my hands to find the pen, but my drawer was totally cluttered, in a mess. It was because of my negligence that I never bothered to clean up my room and as a result, I never find anything on time. The drawer is where I keep stationary, some greeting cards, and some old letters. But the whole drawer was uneasy and nothing was at the right place. And then I thought, if we keep things messy, it leads to confusion, waste of time and searching the desired thing, becomes time consuming and uneasy. And I don't know why, but I felt that my situation was similar.

“Is this the way, I have been treating my life too?” I asked myself.

My brain, if I compare, was exactly in the same state as the drawer.

Everything is messed up! The letters which meant a lot to me shouldn't really matter to me because to move on, i really need to discard these old memories which ruin the present.

“Those letters shouldn't have been in my reach. Just like those unwanted letters, even my brain and my mind had some unwanted thoughts, those negative thoughts which accumulated just because I gave it a space. Had I been a little more careful in choosing what is to be placed where, my life wouldn't have been tough,” I cursed myself.

I realized it was me and no one else.

It is rightly said, "You make your life great or pathetic, it’s just you. No one else!”

It was an epic moment of self-realization. I forgot that every failure is a lesson. Failures are not fatal and not meant to lose hope. It’s the God's way of showing that you are moving on a wrong path. It was my clumsy and cluttered drawer that became my biggest teacher today!

Had I been just a little more cautious in placing the things and my thoughts in a correct way and managing it tactfully, I would have been a lot happier.

Not wasting even a moment, I emptied my drawer, categorized the objects as WANTED and UNWANTED. The letters found their correct place, the bin. And soon, in less than 30 minutes, I was done! It was like; I wasn't just cleaning my drawer but my life. All unwanted thoughts have been chucked out and only what I am left with, my childhood memory album, some stationary, and my favourite silver anklets. The rest was in the bin!

I shouted, “Yes! Hello, HAPPINESS! Where were you? I missed you badly. Never ever leave me now!”

September 15, 2011

2:30 AM

Had an awesome day! Had dinner at “Spaghetti Kitchen” (the same PACIFIC MALL)

I have sorted out all my differences with Aashish, Raj and Vanya. We clicked a lot of pictures. After a long time had that group hug! I said, “I missed you three. I am sorry for being such a retard. I messed up my life. And then I blamed you all. SORRY."

Vanya said, “Will you mind shutting up! We missed you too. The same old you. You were the one, who has always made our lives special. Last two months were the toughest. We missed your text messages, our late night skype-ing, hogging together like crazy, and gate crashing the weddings. We missed you. And we are glad you are back! We love you. Be the same!”

The day ended.

15th September, 2011, the day I found myself back.

The old, stupid, foolish me.

Thanks to my messed up drawer, I realized that it was the time to DE-CLUTTER.

Published on www.21fools.com (E-Magazine)

You are the MOULDER of your own destiny. (Part 1)

 "Once you begin to understand and truly master your thoughts and feeling,thats when you see how you create your own reality,thats where your freedom is,thats where all your power is".

Its very true that in your life,your actions are the reflections of your innermost thoughts and feelings.And later these thoughts becomes a true-dictator of your life and a dominating  factor which apparently not only moulds your destiny but also whole life.A person with clear,simple thoughts always have an edge over a pessimist who sees nothing but difficulty in every opportunity. Destiny undoubtedly has its own design and no one can challenge or question its destiny but somewhere its your thoughts and actions which may show you a clear picture of where your destiny is going to lead you and what it gives you is a CLEAR VISION.
A person with clear ideas know exactly what he is meant to do and whats the purpose of hiss life but a person with vague,hazy thoughts takes his own life just to figure out the FINAL DESTINATION.
"You are the designer of your own destiny.You are the author.You write the story.The pen is in your hands,the outcome is whatever you chose and intend"
Part-2 (To be updated soon)

Dusk.

The DUSK is considered to be a time of loneliness... disparity and feeling low..

This is possibly because dusk represents"LONELINESS and DARKNESS"...a period sans "LIGHT".

But in my perception it ain't that way actually.But dusk for me is a time to prepare and tighten ourselves and channelise our positive energies in a direction that the next morning..the next sunrise would lead us to our destination.

Dusk is a time of hopes and a "Preparation" period for all of us.

Dusk is actually a time to ASPIRE and DREAM ...to realize that we have power within ourselves

which just needs some seconds of SELF-REALIZATION.

The next morning sunlight could help in enhancing our positivity which we gained the previous dusk and then..the whole day is "YOURS".

This is a sort of never-ending life process.

Because life's uncertain and you really never know whats stored for us the very next second..

so wasting even a single second of day in loneliness,depressing thoughts could lead to negativity which can set a cob-web in your daily life..in a way that you can't rescue yourself

from it...anyway and anyhow.

Therefore take your 24 hours of the day as A GIFT of god he has BESTOWED..and not let your negativity and depressive thoughts overcome your Happiness and energy.

I Love to be a Dreamer-My perception of a Dream

Being a dreamer is not about living in the world that never exist.It is living in the world of hopes,in the world where you have a power to convert the unrealistic world to a world you wish.
If living in a dream world increases the level of positivity then there is nothing wrong in grabbing that positivity which you may hardly get in this world where disparity,disappointments  and increasing
Cut-throat competition won't ever let you remain in peace and be positive and happy. After actually realizing your dream..this positivity creates a power...Which gives you the strength to actually convert your dream into reality.
This is how it works.
This power of dream helps us to find a path in life, it gives us a purpose, a direction. Never under-estimate your dreams, they may not be realistic but they are a part of you.


To be cont..

:"Tees maar khan"!- The biggest blunder I did is by WAtching it!

Tees Maar Khan...The much hyped movie of the year 2010 has been claimed a Disaster by the film critics and the audiences also have rejected Farah Khan's MUCH HYPED pathetic comedy and drama!

The Indian Audiences have successfully been able to now recognize the difference between A good movie and a bad movie! Though the earlier movies of Farah Khan somehow managed to woo the audience by its amazing star-cast...colorful sets..amazing locations and stunt sceanes but her last movie has just been a headache for the audience.with Katrina's highly irritating voice and her OVER-ACting ..it is now proved that an actress cant be just called an "actress" by just flaunting her mid-riff and doing belly moves on a Highly Popular song...the sensational ' sheila ki jawaani'! Akshay Kumar just had a bad year with his row of flop movies and at the end of the year..again a shock with a Super-Flop Tees maar Khan.The songs saved the movie somehow...but thats not enough for such a High budget movie where crores of money just invested on the promos and trailers! The movie lacked a sensible story and the senseless and much predictable comedy wasn't Successful in even tickiling a single bone of the audience!

Best of Luck farah! Sharukh must be pretty happy inside! I think its better to trust your lucky charm Sharukh ..farah!:)